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When I Was Better by Rita Bozi chronicles the Nazi invasion, Soviet occupation, and the Hungarian Revolution of 1956. At the center of it all is Istvan’s and Tereza’s epic story and journey of survival.
The story opens in Hungary where we meet Tereza who has loved Istvan for as long as she can remember. Through all the turmoil and unrest in Hungary, Tereza and Istvan still manage to marry. Soon thereafter, Istvan escapes to an Austrian refugee camp where he befriends sixteen-year-old Barna. Barna adopts Istvan as his surrogate father which is a turning point in Istvan’s life. But things take a tragic turn…
Meanwhile, on the home front, things are getting worse for Tereza and her family. The Russians are in charge. They take what they want when they want it and to resist is met with horrific consequences. The Russians have an affinity for the Hungarian women and sadly the women in Tereza’s family (including Tereza) are raped. Her sister Klara left their home in Sombathely and moved to Budapest. Eventually, Tereza makes her way to Budapest. It’s been a long time since she has seen her sister. There will be no talk of what happened to either at that hands and control of the Russian soldiers. However, the unspoken words between them are more than enough to share their stories and tragic experiences. The years and decades on the road ahead for Tereza and her young son, Zolti, will pave a way of destitution and tragedy. Tereza refuses to give up. She believes in her soul that Istvan, Zolti, and she will reunite…someday.
It’s difficult to produce enough adjectives to describe the exceptional body of work Rita Bozi has produced in this stellar novel, When I Was Better. It is equally challenging to single out a particular passage over another given there is a multitude to choose from. Her scene set up and character description is off the charts. One example of this that caught my attention is on Page 175 when she describes Meszaros: “…As they were leaving the smoke-filled room, the Chief Officer pulled Istvan aside. Tereza kept a hold of his arm. Meszaros was ten years Istvan’s senior, with bushy black eyebrows—awnings over his eyeballs—his mouth stretched as wide as a frog’s and his upper lip was but a flap of skin. His wavy black hair receded only at the corners of his head. The rest poked forward in the middle of his forehead, like a cat’s tongue…” The prolific analogies and tangible accounts of the ravages of war are anchored throughout this novel. Ms. Bozi is more than adept in her research as she effortlessly sets the timelines and occurrences with precise accuracy. There is phenomenal emotion that bleeds across the pages. The only caution I would offer to the reader is the length of this book. It exceeds 500 pages. This was not a deterrent for me. Anytime a writer takes on an epic read such as this, it’s abundantly clear he/she had vision to deliver something quite memorable tenfold. In this case, Ms. Bozi has done so and admirably at that!
Quill says: When I Was Better is more than a ‘good book.’ It is a memory that steeps into the soul of the reader and one that will linger long after the proverbial ‘The End.’
Reviewed by D. Donovan
Historical fiction readers are in for a treat with When I Was Better, a love story set in Hungary and Canada which follows the journey of István and Teréza, who flee the Nazi and Soviet invasions and the Hungarian Revolution to finally make their home in Winnipeg in the 1960s.
Maps and a cast of characters portend an attention to details that history buffs will appreciate, but the lively chapter headings that begin with “This is What Dying Feels Like” are the real draw, promising inviting scenarios that compel readers to learn more about the characters’ lives and influences.
Few other books about immigrant experience hold the descriptive power of When I Was Better:
“Her world had transformed into a place of gestures and facial expressions, making her feel more vigilant now than she had ever been under Communism. No one understood her but Zolti. Already she ached for her language and the family she left behind.”
Rita Bozi’s ability to capture not just the history and milieu of the times, but the life and passions of those who live it is a sterling example of what sets an extraordinary read apart from a mundane narration of circumstance and history.
Her ability to depict the everyday experiences and insights of her protagonist bonds reader to the subject in an intimate manner that brings not just the era, but the psychology of its participants to life through inner reflection, influence and experience, and even dialogue:
“Four lengths of sausage, please?” Teréza watched as the man pulled two small lengths from the hook and wrapped them in course paper. “I beg your pardon, sir, but would you kindly add in two more lengths?”
“We got an aristocrat here? If you take four lengths, what d’you imagine the workers are gonna eat at the end of the day?”
The account of a seven-year separation, Budapest and Winnipeg cultures and contrasts, and refugee experiences brings history to life through the eyes of its beholders.
That which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. This saying applies especially strongly to When I Was Better ‘s powerful story, highly recommended for historical fiction readers and library collections interested in powerfully compelling writing packed with insights:
“Why is it so agonizing to be truthful?” István asked, not expecting an answer.
“It depends on what truth you’re about to reveal. And how you expect it to be received. If you’re expecting an execution, you have two choices. Die for what you believe in or lie to save your life.”
A detailed story that is both heartwarming and harrowing in turn follows the twenty year relationship of István and Teréza. Will the couple survive secrets, war and a seven year separation as István escapes to Canada? This historical fiction spans a turbulent time in Hungarian history and the plight of the Hungarian people during the war and Soviet occupation. Both István and Teréza are well drawn characters and as I was drawn into the story I was keen to keep reading and see whether they would be successfully reunited. With questions of morality and themes of survival in one of the darkest times in modern history, ‘When I Was Better’ is also a story of love, human connection and coming-of-age. I think that this is an incredibly moving story that will appeal to all historical fiction fans and is a worthwhile read.
BookView Review rated it: 
Set against the backdrop of a world enveloped in the chaos of political unrest, Bozi’s debut is a riveting, complex tale of one couple’s journey of love and endurance. Trying to dodge the authorities, István leaves his wife and infant behind and leaves for Austria, eventually making his way to Canada. When his wife finally arrives in Canada, it’s been seven years and the distance between the couple has grown. Bozi skillfully blends plausibility with historical truth and weaves in an engrossing story. Her imaginative spin on István’s harrowing journey from Budapest, Hungary, to an Austrian refugee camp and then finally to Winnipeg, Canada, is well realized. The narrative remains gripping, and the realistic, utterly convincing characters immediately draw the reader into their problem. Deeper worldbuilding and exploration of the characters’ motivations deepen the story. Bozi’s assured narrative paints a convincing day-to-day picture of the early twentieth-century, immersing readers into the stark realities of the Russian occupation of Hungary, the Hungarian Revolution, and the wide-spread civil unrest that took over the nation. Meticulously researched and brilliantly executed, this is a stunner.
Thomas rated it:
Rita Bozi is a brilliant storyteller and writer. She writes from experience and knowledge, being that she was raised by Hungarian refugees.
When I Was Better looks at the embattled relationship between István and Teréza during the Nazi invasion and Soviet occupation of Hungary in 1956. István is forced to leave his wife and infant son in Hungary during the time that the invaders have crushed the Hungarian Revolution. István finally makes it to Canada where he endeavors to start a new life and to hopefully wait for a future reunion with his wife and son. Teréza is left to endure the trauma of war in an occupied country and has to keep secrets amid the weight of humiliation, shame, isolation and violent acts against her. Through letters and faith, the couple struggles to maintain their relationship through the years, all the while, holding out hope that they will someday be reunited.
This novel highlights a refugee crisis and it shows how an autocracy can corrupt its citizens into compliance. It also allows us to see how after over sixty years, we are still at danger of being ruled and having our families ripped apart.
Rita Bozi is a brilliant storyteller and writer. She writes from experience and knowledge, being that she was raised by Hungarian refugees. Her characters are very well developed and engaging; her descriptions of place and the details that were penned in most of the dramatic scenes placed me deep into her story. During this time, I think it’s especially important to realize that we may live in a country where we believe we live in a stable democracy but in reality, we are teetering on the edge of falling into the kind of lives that István and Teréza led. It was a riveting and emotional story which kept me turning the pages.
Rita Bozi has a talent and I hope we will see more from this amazingly gifted writer and author. This is a must read!
I give When I Was Better 5 out of 5 stars.
Reviewed by Asher Syed for Readers’ Favorite
When I Was Better by Rita Bozi is a historical epic that follows the lives of a small family of three up against some of the biggest, most destructive events in Eastern Europe’s history. Following a brief prologue, the book begins in mid-century Hungary with István telling his wife Teréza that he is fleeing the country alone. The book then dances between timelines to show us how this came to pass. István’s ‘uncooperative’ and ‘non-compliant’ dissent under the occupation of the then Soviet Union is detailed, as is the courtship and relationship between István and Teréza amidst political and social turmoil. When István flees and Teréza is left behind with their infant son Zolti, the true test of her resilience and the strength of the marriage becomes the focal point as their years of separation draw out. “She’d been an accomplice since the day István escaped. Guilty for being a Catholic, guilty for being a self-determined citizen, guilty for being a Hungarian citizen in a Soviet world.”
When I Was Better is not an easy book to get through. Rita Bozi does well in breathing life into her two main characters and those surrounding them, and from a technical standpoint the writing is well executed and the story well told. The difficulty for me as a reader was twofold. I did not like István and I had a hard time respecting Teréza. Despite all of their admirable intentions in fighting the good fight, they are viewed through the lens of a modern perspective. I had to keep reminding myself this is historical fiction and the picture painted of a time when married couples just stuck it out was not always going to be a rosy one. The scenes depicting their advocacy and resistance are the best parts of the novel, and the page-turning is fueled by little Zolti and wanting to know what the future holds as we were introduced to him before he is born. The ending is hopeful although not happy, but for those who enjoy literary fiction with an authentic representation of the period, this should tick all of the boxes. Recommended.
Given 5 stars by Carolyn on Goodreads
This riveting true story reveals the horrors of living in Hungary from the 40’s into the 60’s. Few historical novels are set in this time and place. Rita Bozi brilliantly shares the traumatic story of her parents and relatives.
The main characters are a young couple, Tereza and Istvan. Both are strong- willed and their personalities often clash. We watch them suffer through Nazi and Russian occupation followed by the Hungarian revolution and further civil unrest. Bozi does a masterful job of characterization, and we literally feel their fears, losses, and desires.
With excellent sensory imagery, we are absorbed into events that transpire. “The place looked like a glorified cafeteria with cold metal tables, drab olive walls and a scuffed floor of checkered tile. Dim, diffuse light made a dreary establishment, with nary a smile to be seen or a laugh to be heard, sadder still.”
Bozi uses an interesting organizational format with chapters flashing back and forth across decades of despair. Her organization certainly provides extra suspense to the lengthy story.
This story obviously required a tremendous amount of research and I applaud Bozi’s dedication to her family’s story. I recommend this book for readers drawn to the pathos of war and domination.
“Superb tale of revolution and humanity”
Reviewed in Canada on July 22, 2022 by Anonymous Reviewer
Bozi has done an amazing job of weaving intricate chronologies together. Each thread introduced is picked up and deftly embroidered in, resulting in a structurally impressive undertaking that in spite of (or because of!) its complexity is immensely compelling. The characters and their journeys—how they’re affected by war, by fear, by their own personalities, and by each other is mesmerizing. Every time István or Teréza make a mistake you feel for them. Every time they have a tiny bit of luck, you cheer for them. Every time they are wronged, you feel enraged for them. And although the picture of Hungary is bleak and its citizens not at their best, this book also reads like a love letter to a country, its language, its culture, and its people.
“ You will be so happy you chose to read this book!”
Reviewed in Canada on July 26, 2022 by Amazon Customer
I encourage you to read Rita Bozi’s new release novel, “When I Was Better”! Bozi’s visceral writing took me on an emotional journey from wonder to helplessness, anguish to hope, laughter to shock, and ultimately, deep reverence and humility, as I experienced what it was like for a people, a country, and a culture to be transformed by tyranny and oppression.
This novel allowed me the privilege of experiencing the deeply personal-often unfathomable – situations of the characters, and I became invested, connected and reflecting on what I might do in their circumstances.
The story transported me to places that I would never want to go, but I kept going; drawn in to their worlds in awe and disbelief, full of curiosity, hope, and ultimately respect for the resilience of the subjects.
I wish this novel never ended because now that I’m done reading, I find myself still wondering about the characters and I miss the experience of holding hope for them as I read the book! This epic novel will live forever in my heart, and will inspire me to do what I can to support victims of war and oppression in the world. Because as fictional of a tale this may be, it is a reality for hundreds of thousands of humans today. Thank you Rita Bozi for your gift of “When I Was Better”.